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Huge in India
President Trump held a rally in Ahmedabad on Monday as part of his first state visit to India, or, as Jimmy Kimmel called it, Trump’s “two-day eat, pray, love himself tour.”
“Trump’s first stop was at the home of Mahatma Gandhi, where he got the chance to spin a replica of the wheel that Gandhi used to make his own clothes. That’s lovely. Now he knows what it’s like to work in one of Ivanka’s factories.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Said Trump: ‘Cool, where’s he live now? Nicer place?’” — SETH MEYERS
“Now Trump’s in India partly to negotiate a trade deal and partly to get his copy of the Kama Sutra signed.” — TREVOR NOAH
“The day’s big event was a giant political rally for the president called ‘Namaste Trump,’ which I really hope means he had to publicly do yoga. [imitating Trump] First, I go downward, like a dog. Now, a sun salutation — hi, Eric.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“The Indian prime minister organized a huge rally to welcome Trump at the largest cricket stadium in the world. Trump doesn’t know much about cricket. The only cricket Trump knows are the ones he hears when he asks Melania if he can sleep in her room.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“But it is true that Donald Trump is very popular in India, all right? Some like him because of his anti-Muslim rhetoric, some like him because of his business savvy, and all of them like him because his skin looks like tikka masala.” — TREVOR NOAH
“The other reason this is an interesting trip for Trump is because the Indian prime minister is a strict vegetarian and he does not plan to serve our president meat of my kind. His plan is to serve him vegetarian meals, which is like trying to fill a Buick with safflower oil — it just doesn’t work.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“So this is going to be hard on Trump. And you know what I was thinking is what’s worse for him is cows are so sacred in India that they’re allowed to just wander around in the city. So can you imagine how hard that’s going to be for him? He hasn’t eaten beef for two days and then he’s just going to start seeing cows in the street? And he’s going to be, like, ‘Oh, my god. I’m hallucinating. All the cows I’ve eaten have come back to haunt me. I’m sorry, cows! I’m so sorry!” — TREVOR NOAH
The Punchiest Punchlines (Weekend at Bernie’s Edition)
“But it was a very good weekend at Bernie’s. Bernie Sanders won big in Nevada on Saturday and is now considered to be the front-runner. That’s right: There’s a 78-year-old man running in front.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Sanders was coming off slim popular-vote victories in Iowa and New Hampshire, but Bernie won Nevada with 46 percent of the vote, including a diverse coalition of immigrants, college students, Latina mothers, young black voters, white liberals and even some moderates. And because — and because it was Nevada, he also picked up votes from blackjack dealers, Cirque du Soleil, and that one guy sitting alone at the prime rib buffet muttering ‘How am I gonna tell Marjorie?’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Say what you will about the guy, but he does not care about status. He has one suit that he irons by running it over with his car, I guess. He shoots layups with two hands and he’s been photographed in the middle seat in coach — and that is the only time he’s been centrist.” — SETH MEYERS
“People are asking a lot of harder questions now that he’s — for example, Bernie Sanders is now refusing to release his full medical records. That is true. Yeah, the senator defended himself. He said, ‘It’s not my fault no one kept records during the bubonic plague.’” — CONAN O’BRIEN
The Bits Worth Watching
Jimmy Fallon took the “Tonight Show” underground for an entire show shot on the subway and inside Grand Central Station.
What We’re Excited About on Tuesday Night
K-pop sensation BTS will take a Carpool Karaoke ride with James Corden on Tuesday night’s “The Late Late Show.”
Also, Check This Out
The Auschwitz-Birkenau Memorial and Museum criticized Amazon’s new Holocaust-themed show, “Hunters,” for an episode featuring an ahistoric game of human chess.
"Eat" - Google News
February 25, 2020 at 02:42PM
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Late Night Checks in With Trump’s ‘Eat, Pray, Love Himself’ Tour - The New York Times
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