Now that Thanksgiving is over, many are preparing for the remainder of the holiday season. YouGov reported that 48 percent of women do "all" or "most" of the Thanksgiving Day cooking. Compared to men's 31 percent, that's a lot of pressure. For some, the trauma of turkey day still lingers.
One Redditor by the user name of "jhonwickgal" posted to the "Am I the A**hole (AITA)" forum about an incident that occurred with her husband and his family.
"I (33f, wfh job) have been married to my husband (37m, working in the military) for a year. We had a long distance relationship and I'd met his family handful of times," she wrote in the viral thread.
She said she wasn't "allowed" to help with Thanksgiving until they'd officially married so her husband's family planned to join them this year.
"I was happy to cook thanksgiving turkey for the family but the thing is whenever we're having guests over and I'm the one cooking," she said. "My husband' pops in to the kitchen every few minutes literally shouting stuff like 'So how we doing?, the chicken's not ready yet?!.hurry up let's go' and 'that shrimp ain't going to cook itself' and 'let's go let's go come on guests are starving!! and 'youre too slow move faster!' AND 'COME ON LETS GO LETS GO LETS GO' like I was in the military or one of his recruits (he has frog voice from constantly yelling)."
The woman said this behavior causes her so much stress, she gets injured from the pressure. On this Thanksgiving Day, he did all of the above, and then some.
"He kept coming into the kitchen saying 'FOLKS ARE GETTING HUNGRY! WHAT'S TAKING YOU SO LONG?', then full on shouting 'COME ON LET'S GO! LET'S GO' and 'HURRY UP LETS GO! MOVE!'," she wrote. "His mom offered to help but I said thanks and warned him to stop or I will stop cooking and he doubled down with an expected '4 MORE MINUTES LET'S GO LET'S GO!'"
She continued: "I stop, turn the oven off and tell him I was done no more cooking. He starts arguing with me saying I can't stop mid task but I apologize to the family and tell his mom she was welcome to finish the turkey but he didn't allow her and told them he was taking them to eat out to spite me after what I did. I was shocked didn't expect this. They literally got in their cars and left."
By the time her husband returned home, things were tense as he called her choices "tasteless" and "irresponsible." The woman asked Reddit if she's the a**hole in this scenario and they chimed in.
"NTA. Get out. This man is abusive. He orders you around and punishes you when you do not comply. He then uses the fact that he's in the military to excuse his actions and place the blame solely on you. His family have his back. He will get worse. Get out early before that happens. This is who he is. He is an abuser who thinks he has a right to control you, and punish you how he sees fit," lnwint wrote.
Compensate1995 agrred saying, "NTA, he constantly demeans you in order to impress his surroundings. You don't have to put up with that. You deserve respect just like anyone else. You were the target of mockery for too long and it has to stop. You don't have to ensure his berating and deprecating behavior. You should have stood for yourself a while ago, but late is better than never."
"Girl both my grandfathers fought in WW2 and they knew damn well they'd be enlisting for WW3 if they spoke to their wives that way. The military is no excuse, your husband is an abusive ungrateful a**hole," crockofpot added.
"So... when's the divorce? The behavior you've described is clinically termed verbal and emotional abuse. No one should ever have to endure that, especially from a spouse. NTA, and you're being abused. There's no sugar coating it," SweatyFig3000 said.
The post amassed more than 11,400 upvotes and over 2,000 comments at the time of this article.
https://www.newsweek.com/thats-abuse-internet-sides-woman-who-quit-cooking-after-husband-yelled-hurry-1657570
2021-12-09 02:11:32Z
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